Thursday, November 28, 2013

Hey, it is Thanksgiving!

I don't usually post a Thanksgiving status because I don't celebrate Thanksgiving. Never in my entire 24 years of my life, I take a day to purposely give thanks on my blessings over dinner. I am not exactly that perfect soul who gives thanks everyday before she goes to sleep either. I am just one of those who randomly gives thanks out loud more so after surviving one of life's greatest lemon throwing session. But, I do try to do a little check ins on what I should be thankful for once in a while. In conjunction with Thanksgiving that is going on right now in U.S, yes, I know how apt, right? I posted this on my Facebook about 30 minutes ago.


Maybe it is my final summer break here and I am seeing things in a new light that made me realise that when I am done in July, in the not-so-cold Brissy winter, I am really going to miss all the tiny little things to all the wonderful people I have met here. And, that plane ride back to motherland will be identical (me sobbing like a baby in the plane) just like the journey to Brisbane in July '12.

It is Thanksgiving today isn't it? I am thankful to be here and for all the people I have known and grown to love in each and every way.

It has been one amazing break so far. Results are in and I am glad to say that I passed this semester. Same decent grades as last semester but more amazing is that I passed POLS3803 - so yes, no more crazy relationship with Karl Marx and company. I am relieved and so damn glad. I did hope that I would score a high distinction for Korean Culture and distinction for POLS2501 - Human Rights but again, I am just glad, I did score more than just a pass for both courses. In fact, out of three POLS courses, two of them, I scored a credit. Thankful for such grades, you bet I am.

I have been bumping and meeting up with some friends that I have met over my stay here in Brisbane. All these meet ups, brunches, coffee sessions, impromptu movie nights are the highlights of this semester. Friends that I have gained from previous semesters become friends that I have learnt to lean onto and trust along the way. They became my support and strength and the joy plus happiness behind my laughter and smiles.

Met up with Sorcha for tea today and I love all our tea sessions because like Mama Sam, she never fails to make me feel calm and at peace and feel important ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Sometimes, during our meet ups, I hope I don't make her feel like I am one selfish conceited materialistic violent whiny bitch that she has to listen to whenever I share some things with her. (Oh the amount of negative Gemini showing up is waaaaay damn high!!) Anyways, it was a really good meet up albeit some negative things that happened prior before our meeting. All is good nonetheless. You see, I love talking to her because she someway somehow brings me back to down to earth and there are moments that it is evident how different the both of us are and it is that differences like how she is so kind to an ant that I killed but somehow it survived - she tried to save it and even put up a barrier to prevent it from coming to my side and from me before I end its life. It made me felt guilty for a moment since I never showed any regret nor remorse when it comes to killing ants. (Tsk, I know!) The positive traits that she has are those that I lack and I can only wish and aspire to be as calm, collected, kind as her. And, there were some things that we talked about on the way home and made me acknowledge that my life is going all great at the moment - not so much stress but definitely, I have removed the necessary toxins that made life so unbearable. Also, I spoke of God which I don't usually do. :) So, yes, giving thanks to the fact that I met another wonderful person in Brisbane in which hopefully, many years down the road, we will still be in touch despite the distance, time difference and my utter laziness. :p

Which brings me to my next and final point, on the way home from Gold Coast on Monday, I picked up Mel's Quiet Journeys - Finding Stillness in Chaos and read it throughout my train ride to Brisbane. The first few pages reminded me of the valuable lesson, Nicole, a small girl back in Singapore taught me when I met her in high school. 'God is in you, in your heart.' As I continued reading the book, I felt really peaceful, that kind of peace I have not felt in such a long time. I was by myself, without a companion with me but to my pleasant surprise, I didn't feel lonely at all. In fact, I enjoyed that solo ride home.

So many things to be thankful for, so many blessings, so many good things have happened to me. So glad, just to be alive and typing this post out.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

xoxo,
Adorra

Friday, November 15, 2013

I will miss you boozey


That's me, pretty much. Arizona's character and I have so much in common, it is so scary.
And yes, while I go through lists and lists of possible sperm donor candidates, I will probably be asking my partner if I will like getting pregnant and then I will learn that I can't do this and that and I won't be able to enjoy my large soy mocha and I will be sad but I guess, it is for the baby.

It scares me so much that I might just end up agreeable to childbearing which I am very openly and extremely against on at this point of time. Just like Arizona, I don't think I will be a good mother and I probably be a hell lot worse than an angry mama bear Robbins. Just sayin' yknow?

Crrrrrash.


Many years back, I led a life where I constantly thought that I would be hit by a speeding car as I sat as a passenger in the bus or someone else's car. Images like the one I have posted above is just one of the many wild thoughts that I had while I was on my way to school and work. Other days, before I began my day, all I thought of was 'am I going to get hit by a car today as I cross the road?' or  'is today gonna be the day where I die from a car crash?' Those years were clearly the toughest because every single day, I just had thoughts of dying. However, as the saying goes, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I don't have such thoughts playing in my head on loop as much these days. However, as I was making my way home from Fairfield earlier in Cal's car. We almost met with an accident - a ute almost hit us because we probably saw the wrong traffic light. Thankfully, dude in the ute wasn't speeding and we managed to steer away from our possibly first car crash in down under. We sped away while Cal screamed for a bit and for a second, it brought me back to those dark days. Cal was concerned when he asked me if I was fine. I was clearly not shaken even a bit by it because I said I was fine in my most reassuring smile. And indeed, I was not shaken at all. Maybe, my head, my soul has gotten immuned by it. It did take my breath away for a second as the bright lights shine and blinded me but for some weird reason, that one second was my calmest moment in my entire Friday night.